The Honest-to-God Truth About Having Kids (That Nobody Else Will Tell You)

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether or not it's good (or bad, or in-between) for parents to be completely honest with parents-to-be or those-considering-the-parental-lifestyle. I've been thinking about this partly because I try to be super duper honest on this here blog, and also because I, myself, feel slightly shocked by some of the stuff I've experienced since getting pregnant with Wee One, and I wonder if it would have been better for me to know.

I also wonder if it's possible that being kept slightly in the dark isn't such a bad thing. I'm pretty sure I've scared a few readers, which was not my intention (I promise!) and I KNOW FOR A FACT that I scared my friend "Friend" the other day after our hot yoga class when I showed her my stomach and she couldn't stop her eyes from TOTALLY WIDENING UNNATURALLY as she said, "Whoa. It really got... stretched!" This was after I was thinking it was really improving. Ah, the irony.

Anyway -- I'm pretty sure that "everything in moderation," which is basically my motto for chocolate, life, and Muppets videos that I show my toddler, works here, too. It's good for moms-to-be to know that labor is hard (obvi). It's good for them to have an inkling that breastfeeding might be a challenge. It's good for them to know that work-life balance isn't easy. Is it good for them to know that breastfeeding can sometimes be so painful in the beginning that you are thisclose to feeding your child ANYTHING ELSE even coconut milk? Um... maybe not. Because all of the things that were SO FREAKING HARD BUT I WOULD STILL DO AGAIN? I got through them. I made it out the other side and I would turn around and do them for a second time with child #2. So it's not like knowing anything would have stopped me the first time or stop me now.

There's just one exception, and that's pumping. I HATE PUMPING MORE THAN I HATE CAMPING. OR INTOLERANT PEOPLE. Trying to jump back into a totally full-time job while pumping away in a window-less room three times a freaking day for nearly 45 minutes each time, round-trip, while I just got more and more behind on work and my boobs got more and more ANGRY AT ME and I knew that if I were just breastfeeding I would actually get more than a friggin' trickle of milk was genuinely terrible and made me cry daily. It seems especially cruel to me that just after you leave your wee babe for the first time, you are thrust back into a stressful work environment where you THEN must sit by yourself THINKING ABOUT YOUR BABY SO THAT YOU GENERATE MORE MILK (this is a real thing I swear!) and then sobbing the shit all over your laptop when you get about a shot glass' worth. I would avoid pumping at an office again, if I could. I know I sound dramatic. But I think some of those pumping sessions were some of my darkest moments ever! Do I need therapy for this?!)

Oh geez. Now you're just dreading pumping. Which is why being honest might prepare you — but will it help you? I think it's time to end this post. Proposal: tomorrow I will be annoyingly honest about how AMAZEBALLS parenting is (because it really, truly is).

xox,

Rebecca

PS: About this blog post title. I lied -- lots of people will tell you lots of stuff about parenting, so much so that you'll be all TMI! TMI! I don't know; it just sounded catchy.