The Momshell, Revisited

This photo of this reality star that I know nothing about because I make a point of categorically boycotting celebrities who do not actually act, sing, dance, or at least host something has been annoying me all weekend.

I get it: we read gossip mags for the escapism. For the few glorious moments of "what would life be like if...". For the fashion and the trends and for the downright fun of thinking about something other than diapers, spreadsheets, and what we're going to make for dinner tonight. I fully buy into the gossip mag phenomenon and think that with the right attitude (or glass of Pinot), flipping through one of these babies can be a really enjoyable activity.

Except when I see pictures like the above. And that's where I draw the line. Where I get all uppity and "no you didn't" because honestly? THIS PICTURE IS JUST GOING TO MAKE LIKE TEN MILLION MOMS FEEL BAD. MAYBE MORE. I can deal with how gorgeous Jessica Alba is at the Oscars or how hot Gwyneth Paltrow looks in a bikini. I think moms should get glammed up and flaunt their fabulousness as much as their non-mom counterparts! But this "let me push my five-week old baby in the stroller while I show off my perfect calves (made perfect-er by the height of my heels), my non-existent post-baby pooch and my TEENY TINY LEATHER SKIRT (who wears that even if they DON'T have a newborn, I ask you?)" is just a virtual slap in the face to all the new moms out there glued to their couches breastfeeding a five-week old with dreams of making it to the shower... one day.

Let's get realistic about this photo. Here are a couple of facts: 1) There is no way (and I mean No. Freaking. Way) this person walked more than two feet in those shoes. Like, I can guarantee you that she walked across that parking lot — maybe not even ACROSS, possibly just one or two parking spots-worth — and then sat down. Like on a bench. Or at the table at a lovely outdoor bistro. Where somebody else held her baby the whole time. Or took said baby home! 2). There is no way (and I mean No. Freaking. Way) she drove in those shoes, either. Definitely not with a baby screaming in the back, and on no sleep. Her driver drove her, obvi! 3) She's wearing two pairs of Spanx. I promise. 4) She's either smiling like that because she's thinking "Wow, this whole baby thing isn't so bad when you've got ten nannies!" OR it's a smile of desperation because she's plotting her escape. From the world. (That open-mouthed smile does look a little deranged... no?) 4) There's a good chance there's no actual baby in that stroller. 5) That ugly (I mean... expensive) shirt is actually a newfangled nursing bra. And the leather skirt is great for wicking off spit-up (it's actually pleather, so you just use a baby wipe).

I'm not saying you have to wear mom jeans now (God forbid). These two lovely ladies (here and here) are my mommy fashion idols (the kids are pretty cute, too).

xox,

Rebecca

PHOTO CAPTION: I think I've worn heels twice since having a kid. My go-to mom shoes are some variation of these boots. Pros: they go with everything. Cons: they jingle when I walk.