Great Expectations

I had an abnormally social Friday last week that included a lunch with girlfriends (and babies!) and a dinner with girlfriends (no babies!).  Typically, my most profound weekday conversations are with baristas and under-2-year-olds, so this was a real treat. It dawned on me as I sat with my friends and their tots (and then later sat with my friends as we talked about our tots) that two/three years ago, we were mostly totless. Our lives were markedly different than they are now, after the Big Shift.

At the lunch, I was telling my friends about how, having left my full-time job, I am now balancing momhood with writing/freelancing/blogging/content creating, and it's hard, but I am determined to be the master of my own destiny and really take charge of my career so that I'm working towards the type of writing projects that really float my goat. As I was rambling on about all of this, my one-year-old was climbing out of his high chair and onto the table of the fish restaurant, and I was struggling to hold him down but mostly failing as he inched his way towards the center of the table (he's strong, guys. Like, maybe stronger than me. I'm honestly not sure who would win if we arm wrestled). Anyway, my friends all cracked up. "You're not the master of your own destiny," they laughed. "He is." I didn't see the humor of the situation until later, glass of wine in hand.

That night, at the aforementioned dinner, I asked my other set of girlfriends how they're handling the Big Shift. I said I felt like my husband and I have shifted about 80 percent of our lives to accommodate being parents, but we still seem to be clinging to that other 20 percent, which is the part of us that still wants to be in shape-have date nights-travel (within reason)-and-do-other-stuff-that-is-hard-to-do-with-a-baby. My friends offered the sage advice that it's all about your expectations. Sure, you can still watch the world series, but you might be doing it while playing in the recycle bin with your kid (try it. It's fun). Sure, you can still go running, but you might be pushing a jogging stroller. Sure, you can have a date night, but you're gonna pay big bucks for a babysitter and spend double what you used to (but then again, maybe you only go out half as much, so it evens out?)

How have your expectations shifted since you became a parent?

PHOTO CAPTION: Get out of my face, I'm drinking a milktail.