I'm in a mom's group on Facebook where most people tend to post practical questions like "how do I get my baby to eat lentils" or "which car seat will my baby not hate"? Every once in a while, I'll find myself in a hole of emotional blech and post something about my dislike of my post-pregnancy pooch, or — most recently — this:
"Anyone else feel like the stress of having a 15-month-old (or whatever age!) has you so on edge that you have way more snippity/frustrated moments than ever -- is this normal? Is this life from now on? I don't like being this way but the stress of constant mess/clean-up/child won't eat/we just ran out of milk/exhausted/child won't nap/too many chores/not to mention career-work-accomplishing anything sometimes makes me feel like freaking out (I'm fine, really. But this morning when my husband asked me - after I was ordering our lunch at a sandwich place - "why did that take so long?" I answered by yelling (pretty loudly) "BECAUSE THEY"RE REALLY FREAKING SLOW HERE!" (am I alone?)"
Let's just say that I got a ton of responses, and I am clearly not alone, which makes me feel much better but also, in a weird way, much worse, because I don't understand why we've been having kids for centuries ("we" being humanity), and yet we still can't figure out how to do it, in 2012, without at least sometimes losing our minds.
Two other incidents occurred since I posted the above rant. 1) I got a parking ticket — I literally ran out to see the cop placing it on my windshield after my meter had just run out probably two minutes before — and I almost yelled at him, before reminding myself that I didn't fancy a trip to the pokey. 2) The other night, I was up waaay too late and apparently adopted a certain "tone" that Ethan called out (justifiably) as being fairly unpleasant. He said something like "I hate when you get that tone" and I responded, so eloquently, "Yeah, well I hate when you do a lot of things." Right. Great comeback, Mommyproof.*
Just so you don't start pulling your hair out if you're contemplating having a bebe, a bunch of fellow moms wrote that things really start to improve once Little One is 2 years old. So, here's to that (as long as you don't have another one and start the clock all over again).
*I have noticed that my level of snippiness seems to have increased dramatically this week. I am blaming my coffee experiment. I thought it would make me more productive, but I fear it's just made me more anxious/manic. They should warn you about that on the cup.
xo,
Rebecca
Two is easier? That was NOT my experience. Not to freak you out. :)
ReplyDeleteJen! I know... I mean I have definitely heard of the terrible two's, obvi. Hm. A bunch of moms said that at age two it got slightly easier because communication was better... but who knows!
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime - I MISS YOU! We are so, so overdue to get together and it is entirely my fault. Will email you. Hope we can get together soon.
Xox
I could be romanticizing the past, but I feel like people used to have a lot more help (family nearby, etc.) and also lower expectations. It's not normal to try to raise a family + have an amazing career + make incredibly crafty things you find on Pinterest + not yell at your husband, who's trying to do all of the same stuff you are (minus the Pinterest crafts). This is a new thing. We're still figuring it out, rather poorly most of the time in my house at least. We've been juggling a really sick kid for the last two weeks and had a "we can't live like this anymore!" breakdown this morning. Then we both hugged the kid, went to work and got on with it.
ReplyDeleteAutumn, you're so right -- I keep telling everyone I know that "it used to take a village!" I know that sounds cheesy as hell but I think there's really something there. AND I think "Having it all" is an unrealistic idea for men AND women/ moms AND dads. How can we possibly have our lives EXACTLY AS THEY WERE, and also make room (a lot of room) for children while still pursuing meaningful careers and making enough money to live? (And do all of that without family near to constantly chip in?) Hope your sick wee one gets better soon. And I hear you on the breakdowns. Sounds VERY familiar!
ReplyDelete