How To Be Selfless

I have no idea how. In fact, there's often a running dialogue in my head that goes something like this: "I am not selfless enough to be a mom. How did my mom do this? She must have been tougher-less wussy-less selfish-bionic-Katniss Everdeen's long-lost twin. How does that woman over there with the three under three do this? She must be scrappier-made of steel-descended from a robot-grittier than me, and she probably only needs 3 hours of sleep a night but I need eight, ideally nine!"

I know, I know. We all have those thoughts. And even though I know that I'm a good mom (and so are you!) and that being a parent and being yourself is like, literally the definition of CONFLICTED (look it up!), I still feel like I do a lot of things every single day that feel totally selfish to me, whether they actually are or not. Here are a few:

I take Leo around the hill near our house almost daily for a jog so that I can (selfishly) get in my obligatory exercise. Yes, he sees his beloved doggies (not selfish), but I usually extend the run for one lap more than he has tolerance for (selfish). I don't buy or borrow new toys for Leo just to make him happy; I pull them out to distract him during those key moments when I need to make dinner (not selfish) or check Facebook (selfish). When I let Leo watch videos on my computer, I only click on the ones I personally like and can stand to listen to forty-seven times on repeat: Muppets - CHECK. Other random cartoon characters I don't know about yet like that yo gabba thingie - NOPE. (Selfish). At story time, I steer him towards the books I enjoy (Goodnight Moon) and sometimes bury the ones I don't like under the pile (or, better yet, flip the pages quickly for him without actually reading any of it!) SELFISH!

Of course, there are all the things Ethan and I do every single day and night because we love our little muffin to muffin top pieces, and those things aren't selfish at all. And we didn't do any of those a year and a half ago, but we sure learned quick (and so did you). Our world orders have shifted. We are inherently less selfish than we used to be, before-we-had-kids. The rest is a work-in-progress.

xox,

Rebecca