I live in fear nearly every day (and every moment of every day) of my baby hating me.Perhaps this sounds extreme, irrational, or alarmist. I could see how you might think that; I would think that, too, were I not in this position myself. Oh, I know what you're going to say. "You're his mother. Of course he loves you. You breastfed him until you literally could not watch another episode of Tori & Dean. You take him to the playground and let him chew on stuff out of the recycle bin. You buy him things like shoes. You transfer all of the good thoughts of the world into his little brain every day through osmosis. You read him Goodnight Moon."
All of those things are, for the most part, true. But I also force him to nap when he doesn't want to. I force him to eat things he'd rather not (who wants spinach when you can have baby gouda?) I won't let him eat Cheerios in the car. I make him go with me to Home Depot. I only sometimes let him play with my keys. I won't let him rifle through the medicine cabinet. I wouldn't let him hit that girl at the park.**
In all seriousness – I know, rationally, that it's not my job to play with my baby all day long. Sure, he'd love to be at the playground (pictured above) for all of his waking (and probably his sleeping) hours. But life needs to happen — grocery shopping needs to get done. And naps need to be taken. Peas need to be eaten. And I know I read somewhere that children like and need limits, even if they don't know it. But that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty about it.
**I just reread this and thought I wrote "hit on" that girl at the park. I won't let him do that either.
How do you deal with the endless "no"?
So, I took Maggy in for her 1 year check up last week and her doctor innocently asked me if she understood the word 'no.' I, thinking she was evaluating something about Maggy, said 'yes, I think so.' Turns out, she was actually evaluating me. She then went into a five minute diatribe about how I really shouldn't be saying no at all (unless she runs into oncoming traffic or something) and that saying no just loses its meaning if used more than once in a blue moon and will just confuse Maggy. I see her point, but I definitely left the office feeling like I had just failed a pop quiz on parenting- and that my pediatrician totally thought I was a mean mother- and now I have no idea what to do when Maggy starts chewing on wires (okay, so we need to do some more baby proofing) or tries to launch herself out of her stroller...
ReplyDeleteI know, I have heard this exact same thing, but it just seems so IMPRACTICAL! And I hate it when pediatricians make parents feel bad - that seems so unnecessary and unfair. If it makes you feel any better, we say "no" all the time....
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