I made it to page sixty of Harvey Karp's "Happiest Toddler on the Block," and I think I get the general gist: when your toddler freaks out, you need to sympathize by listening, letting him "talk first" (ie. scream, kick his legs, yell, point), then repeat what he's upset about. But you don't do it in a calm voice; instead, you take on some of his upset tone (even stomping your feet or gesticulating to get your point across — whatever works). And you have to speak in Toddler-ese, which Karp describes as "your little caveman's native tongue." Reasoning, rationalizing, explaining why we need to share — none of that's going to cut it. Baby wants the ball? You say, "Leo wants ball! Ball! Ball! Ball!" That's supposed to get his attention long enough to calm him down. Only then can you distract him with a new toy or explain why sharing is cool.
Karp's premise is that toddlers aren't little adults, so we shouldn't treat them as such. They're actually live cavemen. They're primitive, and the right sides of their brains (which are already larger than the rational left sides) totally take over when they're angry or upset. Speaking in short, simple sentences is the only way to get through to them. And acknowledging that you understand why they're upset by repeating their frustration back to them is apparently the key to raising a healthy child with high self-esteem who feels that his complaints/fears/concerns have been heard.
This all sounds peachy. But the last couple of times I've tried it (like when Leo was mad in his car seat and I yelled, while driving, "Leo want out! Leo want out. Out! Out! Out! Out") I'm not sure that it really worked (and it almost definitely made him yell louder). Can Karp's theory work on a baby this young (he claims it can)? Have any of you ever tried it?
PHOTO CAPTION: Leo's second hair cut. Mommy messed up and let them cut the curls off the back. Leo, would you please grow your curls back right away so I'm not sad?
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